


Thomas Jefferson (Reluctantly) Saves the World

by AdotHann



Series: The Action in the Street [6]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Aaron Burr: not getting his shit together, Alexander Hamilton: Confused but confused in the name of justice, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Angelica Schuyler: questioning your shitty grammar, Dolley Madison: wonderful, Gen, I will make 'John Laurens & Maria Reynolds' Into a popular tag if it fucking kills me, Is2g if you want something done around here you have to do it your fucking self, John Laurens: Nieghbourhood badass, Lafayette: more of an asshole in costume than irl, M/M, Maria Reynolds: number 1 Lams fan, Mistaken Identity, Peggy Schuyler: five minutes late to starbucks (with starbucks), Samuel Seabury: trying his best, Thomas Jefferson: the hero this city needs but not the one it deserves, okay whats up this time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-10 13:54:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10439130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdotHann/pseuds/AdotHann
Summary: Pretty much what it says on the tin-(feat. badass John Laurens, Lafayette being an asshole customer in costume, and Peggy.)





	

_Chat: Lafayette's Quirky Mini-boss Squad_

_ThomasThomas_ : All I'm saying is that The Phantom really needs to swap nemesis with someone. If he were up against The Illusionist, he'd probably own half this city by now. But literally every one of his plans has some sort of major weakness for Ms Miracle's powers. It's so stupid.

 _LaBaguette:_ mon ami, I believe that is the point of his schemes

 _ThomasThomas:_ What?

 _Ghostie:_ @LaBaguette don't

 _LaBaguette_ : @Ghostie has no intention of actually ruling anywhere

 _LaBaguette_ : his evil schemes are, how you say, supposed to fail?

 _Ghostie:_ @LaBaguette Stop

 _ThomasThomas_ : @LaBaguette what

 _LaBaguette_ : I believe it's his way of flirting

 _ThomasThomas:_ @LaBaguette whaaaaaaaat?

 _Ghostie:_ oh my god

 _ThomasThomas_ : Are you telling me

 _ThomasThomas_ : That Aaron Burr

 _ThomasThomas:_ Is only a super villain

 _ThomasThomas_ : Because he's incapable of just asking Ms Miracle out on a date

 _LaBaguette_ : oui

 _ThomasThomas:_ OH MY GOD

 _Ghostie:_ stop

 _ThomasThomas_ : THATS FUCKIGN PRICELESS OH MY GOD

 _Ghostie_ : @ThomasThomas is2g

 _ThomasThomas_ : HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 _Ghostie:_ @ThomasThomas don't pretend that you and The Illusionist aren't doing the exact same thing

 _ThomasThomas:_ Wait, what?

 _ThomasThomas_ : That's?? Not?? True?? I actually gag at the thought????

 _ThomasThomas_ : Wait, do people actually think that's why we're fighting???

 _ThomasThomas_ : @Ghostie where the fuck did you get this idea??

 _ThomasThomas:_ @Ghostie don't fuckign ignore me Burr this is serious

 _ThomasThomas_ : @LaBaguette people don't actually think this do they??

 _LaBaguette:_...

 _ThomasThomas_ : oh my god

 

* * *

 

 

Thomas has a routine. Mostly it consists of him attacking parts of the city on a whim, wherever and whenever he feels like it, and his nemesis always being readily available to try and stop him.  

It's not really a predictable routine, but it works. At least, it works as long as no wannabe-Villain-upstarts get in his way.

 

If there's one thing the Illusionist has mastered, it's multitasking. Thomas spent a moment admiring his ability; halfway across the roof the Illusionist was lecturing the wannabe villain - who, from his outfits horrifying fusion of Priest and Farmer aesthetic, was probably calling himself 'The God Farmer,' or something equally stupid. The outfit was truly tragic though. If Thomas hadn't been so pissed, he might've given him Herc's business card.

From the snippets of rant Thomas could catch, he concluded that Dungarees must have tried to bring up the collapse of the national bank after its creator's death. Internally, Thomas snickered; this seemed to be a bit of a sore spot for his nemesis, and Thomas had seen the Illusionist talk non-stop for 6 hours about things he was less passionate about. Farmer dude was going to be here for quite some time.

His debate partner was a truly magnificent distraction; the very personification of passion and anger and that more-educated-than-you vibe he always manages to give off. It doesn't matter that the illusion is a little larger than life because, despite his actual height, the Illusionist always seems a little larger than life.

It was very distracting.

 

If Thomas hadn't known what he was looking for, he'd never have spotted the real Illusionist on the other side of the roof, attempting to dismantle whatever doomsday device farmer-dude had created.

"What exactly do you think you're doing?" Thomas asked from behind his self-proclaimed nemesis.

The Illusionist jolted up, and Thomas couldn't help but revel in his reaction. Their powers were really too similar for comfort and, what with the time and experience they'd had fighting one another, their abilities almost seemed to cancel each other out. It wasn't often that one managed to actually surprise the other.

(To his credit, the illusion distracting Dungarees didn't falter.)

 

The real Illusionist regained his composure. "Trying to take this fucker down." He replied, turning his back on Thomas.

_Turning his back on Thomas._

He actually had the _nerve_ to turn his back on the most dangerous and feared villain in the city.

If Thomas had been pissed before, he was furious now. First he was stealing away the only guy in this city who could match Thomas in a political debate, and now he was trying to exceed the Manipulator in being evil? That was the last straw. Farmer dude had to go.

 

"You're cheating on me?" Thomas asked, mock pouting.

"Cheating?! I'm prioritizing! In case you hadn't noticed, his plan is a little more powerful and evil than any of yours!" The Illusionist spluttered, still desperately trying to defuse the device, "Also 'cheating' implies we're actually in a relationship and I resent that."

"Prioritizing? Please," Thomas said disdainfully, nudging the unassuming box with his foot, "What's this thing even supposed to do?"

"This _thing_ ," The Illusionist said, voice equally disdainful, "Is literally about to blow up half the city. The most you've ever done is burn a bridge or two. Literally."

Thomas was more than ready to argue that single handedly destroying the entire Brooklyn  Bridge warranted a little more respect (or fear at the very least,) but there'd be time for that later. For the moment he contented himself with sneering at the hero, before turning his attention to the farmer.

Dungarees' - _Seabury_ , the man's mind supplied more than willingly, and if that didn't say _plenty_ about how weak-willed this guy was - mind was _flimsy_. Painfully flimsy, and tattered too. That alarmed Thomas a little; he'd never seen a mind with tattered edges before, but it felt a lot like someone had ripped out Seabury's mental defences, not that there had been much defence in the first place, or, for that matter, much to defend.Thomas put it out of his mind for the moment. The tattered edges felt like they'd been built out of sheets of newspaper and chicken wire; it wasn't difficult for Thomas to press his way though them. Inside his mind is not quite what Thomas was expecting; unlike its bleak and tattered exterior, the inner thoughts of Seabury's mind are a swirl of colour and opinions and half-composed arguments for an essay he intends to write, (though they don't seem to be particularly strong and well founded, but Thomas had been spoiled; too much time around the Illusionist.)

The clear lack of psychic defences bothered Thomas. _Shame_ , he thought, _a challenge would have been nice_. Mentally, he rolled up his sleeves and delved a little deeper into his mind; a mental limb fishing around in Seabury's subconscious until -

"The code to disarm that thing is 1776." Thomas said.

The Illusionist raised an eyebrow at him. Thomas shrugged.

"I don’t want to get blown up anymore than you do. Now if you'll excuse me I have places to be - _priorities_ , and all that."

 

The Manipulator made his exit, leaving Alex a little stunned. He felt the tell-tale patter of cold water on his skin.

It was beginning to rain.

 

* * *

 

 

John Laurens _@SuperWatch_

Farmer Refuted: #Illusionist and #Manipulator team up to take down new villain

 

Maria _@MarieLew  
_ @SuperWatch literally what the hell is going on with this city?

 

Angelica _@Actually_Angelic_  
@SuperWatch I don't think you're using 'refuted' in the right context

 

* * *

 

 

"Get me a large..." Alex squinted at the order board, which seemed to be written in Greek, or Sand Script, or just gibberish for all the sense it made, before finally settling with "Strongest coffee you can legally give me. A large one."

John raised an eyebrow. Coming from Alex it wasn't an unusual coffee order, but it was usually his 5am drink, not 2pm.

"You okay?" He asked, and Alex grinned half-heartedly.

"Yeah, I'm just having a bit of a weird day."

John shot him an inquiring look.

"Someone who I don't usually get along with may have.. saved my life today. Guess that's what I get for living in America's superhero-bullshit capital.” Alex elaborated, then shot a wary glance at the down-pour through the window, “Also I fuckin' hate storms."

John was about to nod understandingly when a particularly violent gust of wind slammed the door open. An eerie silence descended over the cafe.

There in the doorframe, silhouetted against the storm outside, stood The Marquis.  

He strolled towards the counter, past the petrified line of customers with no regard for how much they seemed to fear him. The very air around him seemed humid and heavy and prickled with electricity. He was like lightning.

He stood across the counter from John, who realized that, for all his close encounters, he'd never really been the object of a super villain's attention for more than a few glancing moments. His chest seemed to tighten uneasily.

The Marquis met his eyes, and a terrifying smiled spread across his face.

"Decaf, almond milk, vanilla bean frappuccino." He ordered.

 

* * *

 

 

 _To Pinky_ : Oi peggy

 _To Pinky_ : I think you lost something

 _From Pinky_ : ?

 _To Pinky_ : the Marquis is terrorizing civilians at Johns cafe

 _From Pinky_ : "johns café"

 _To Pinky_ : that's really not what you should be focusing on right now

 _From Pinky_ : ugh can't you handle it

 _To Pinky_ : I'm not exactly dressed for the occasion

 _From Pinky_ : ugh

 _To Pinky_ : please

 _From Pinky_ : fine I'm omw

 _To Pinky_ : <3

 

* * *

 

 

_Decaf, almond milk, vanilla bean frappuccino._

John's 'asshole customer' instincts kicked in and for a second he smiled - a very fixed and patient smile that should probably be taken as more of a warning than anything else - and went to fix the Marquis' drink. Then he paused, put the empty cup back where it'd come from, and looked the super villain dead in the eyes.

And something snapped.

Maybe it was about how weird Alex had been today, or maybe he was just tired of always being on the receiving end of this super-powered bullshit. Maybe he's just fed up with people's absurdly long coffee orders. Reasons regardless, John suddenly found that he couldn't bring himself to deal with some entitled asshole who thought that he could skip queues just because he terrorized the city every now and then.

"There's a line." He said stoically.

The Marquis blinked at him. "What?"

John gestured to the 5 other people who had been patiently waiting for coffee (most of whom looked as if they were ready to kill John for drawing the Marquis' attention to them, or run out of the café screaming. Apart from the tent-knitting lady from that bank robbery a few months ago; she looked like this was the best thing that had happened to her in weeks,) "There's a line. You want coffee, you wait for it."

"I'm a super villain." The Marquis stated dumbly.

"Well," John said scathingly, "You'd think a super villain would be intelligent enough to recognize a queue." He did his best to look furious as he stared the villain down. The Marquis' eyes flash for a moment and John just has time to think 'oh shit I'm going to die' before -

Before the Marquis turned away from him and, slowly and purposefully, walked to the back of the line, where he stood waiting patiently for his turn to order coffee. His expression didn't change once, and everyone but John seemed to wither under his icy glare. John fixed the other customers drinks, the whole shop in tense silence save for the whistling of the coffee machine.

The part of his brain that had compelled him to confront a super villain considered writing something very stupid on the side the Marquis' coffee cup; maybe the classic _"#1 Asshole Customer,"_ or just simply _"Casse Toi."_   The rational part of his brain that actually wanted to live past 27 dismissed this idea quickly. John wondered what that part of his mind had been doing 10 minutes ago.

 

* * *

 

 

_Trending:_

Wonder Woman

#CatsOfTwitter

Knitting

#Johnlock

#SuperTeamUp

#EvilCoffeeOrder

#VilliansNeedCoffeeToo

#StepsToReverseGlobalWarming

#SuperRegistryAct

#Marquis

#Illusionist

 

* * *

 

 

The entire café seemed to let out a collective sigh of relief as the door clapped shut behind the Marquis. 

And of course, Alexander was the first to really break the silence.

"That,” He said, still a little dazed, “Was the most amazing thing I've ever seen anyone do. What time do you get off work?"

John grinned, a reply just on the tip of his tongue, then –

The café door crashed open once again and the patrons, who were still on edge, spun around. There in the door way, decked in unmistakable acid yellow and looking rather irritated but ready to fight, was the Duchess.

“Where is he?” She growled.

Alex, who seemed to be the only one here who was really processing this situation, glared at her. "You literally just missed him."

"Balls." She grumbled.  Unlike Alex, the Duchess didn't was valuable time trying to de-code the coffee menu. Instead she turned straight to John.

"Get me a large of the most disgustingly sugary drink you guys sell."

Despite his love of superheroes, John sincerely hoped that this wasn't going to become the new normal.  

 

* * *

 

 

 _To CountryGirl:_ Enjoying your day off work?

 _From CountryGirl:_ Yea J

 _From CountryGirl:_ just me and two seasons of Daredevil

 _To CountyGirl:_ Are you using my Netflix again?

 _To CountryGirl_ : Nvm not important

 _To CountryGirl_ : Alex asked me out

 _From CountryGirl:_ fucking finally

 _To CountryGirl_ : Also I just told the Marquis off, to his face

 _From CountryGirl:_ John what the fuck

 

* * *

 

 

Thomas dumped several massive boxes of crickets onto the counter. The cashier – Dolley, according to her name tag – raised an eyebrow. (He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed; James usually runs this shift. Maybe the fact that Thomas knew their shifts off by heart was kind of worring.)

“I’ve seen you before somewhere.” Dolley said, scanning the first crate of insects.

“I come in here like every two days.”

“Well duh. I mean I’ve seen you somewhere else.” Then she squinted at him, and he took another long sip of his coffee.  “Are you the Marquis?”

Thomas choked on his drink. “I am not the Marquis.”

Dolley continued to squint at him, and he shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. “You totally are. You’re the right height, you have the right hair, the creepy laugh, and, from what Jemmy said, I wouldn’t put it past you to give your alter-ego a faux French accent.”

Thomas decided not to dignify this with a real answer. “I’m _not_ the Marquis. And my laugh isn't that creepy."

“If you’re not a super villain, why literally buying thousands of crickets?” She asked.

“I have like 500 tarantulas to feed.” Thomas said, and then shot her an odd look, “Why would a super villain need thousands of crickets?”

Dolley shrugged. “You tell me, _Marquis_.”

“Right.”

 

* * *

 

  _From Pinky_ : so I've been thinking

 _From Pinky_ : this morning you could have used your creepy illusion Jedi mind tricks and made everyone think you were in your hero catsuit

 _From Pinky_ : you could've handled it your fucking self

 _From Pinky_ : you didn't need to call me at all

 _To Pinky:_ why are you still thinking about this?

 _To Pinky_ : also it's not a catsuit wtf

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> And now I refresh the page 16 times and pray for comments because I need the validation
> 
> okay so, notes and notices  
> 1) I finally got around to creating a character cheat sheet for y'all. its in the series notes if you want it  
> 2) still haven't worked out how to use the 'inspired by' function and frankly I don't have time to, but this whole series is still inspired by Sanna_Black_Slytherin


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